Bottoming isn’t everything when it comes to queer sex, but it certainly is something. For some, it’s a gateway to enormous amounts of pleasure and a way to enact deeply held fantasies. For others, it’s a no-go, whether because anal sex can sometimes be painful or unpleasant, because of the unique way their body works, or simply because they prefer other kinds of sex.
But if you’re open to it and able, there’s great pleasure to be had when inviting penetration, whether you’re playing with a longtime partner, a new friend, or yourself.
As with any position, there are some challenges to bottoming effectively. Bottoming can expose you to certain infections and injuries if you’re not careful. And like any sexual encounter, communication is key to avoiding hurt feelings, not to mention physical pain. In other words, bottoming isn’t always easy — but there are ways to make it easier. To really maximize the experience, you’ll want to be sure you prepare a bit ahead of time, set some expectations, and, of course, practice vigorous consent.
That’s not to say that bottoming is more work than fun! It should be a delight for everyone involved, and if you check out them.’s guide on how to bottom, you’ll be ready to have a thrilling time with your butt.
But if you’re looking to troubleshoot, improve the experience, or take it to the next level, read on for best practices to make better use of time, improve your pleasure, and avoid taking any unnecessary risks.