Anal play isn’t like cornhole. It takes more training—an ongoing rehearsal dinner of fingers, toys, more fingers, and conversations with both yourself and your partner(s) about what feels good—and what can feel even better.
“If you’re up for it, try anal training four or five times a week, keeping the toy (a plug or movement with a dildo) in for 10 to 15 minutes,” explains Archie Bongiovanni in “How to train up your butt for anal sex of all kinds.”
Every sphincter is a star. Every pursed bumhole, a possibility. “Not only do they look great,” says Bongiovanni, “but they’re also full of nerve endings, meaning anal sex can result in some bomb orgasms.” With a a lot of self-love, lube, and some anal education, you, too, can get there.
As Bongiovanni explains, you actually have two sphincters in your butt: “an inner one that you can’t control, and an outer sphincter that can be taught to relax, to open, to let pleasure in.” It takes time to show that outer one how to have a good time, and to help it grow accustomed to accommodating big stuff.
PLEASE: Don’t stick just anything up there. Your inner sphincter is a powerful, wonderful part of your body that can suck up whatever goes in like a sandworm in Dune. That means having a “flare” or wider handle/end to the part of your butt plug that doesn’t go inside of you is essential. No one wants to be the guy who butt-births a bottle of Garnier Fructis at the ER.